Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
