I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
