If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
