U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
