I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
