it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
