His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
