oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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