Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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