Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize