Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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