Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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