remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize