Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
