did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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