like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
