Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
