WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
