I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
