I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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