Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
