You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
