normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
