I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Screwed.edu
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
