so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
