And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
