I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
