no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
