It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
