I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
