Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
