yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
