Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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