Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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