It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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