your room smells of hookers.
And success
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
