So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
