I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
