id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize