Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize