We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
