hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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