i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
