I must be too annoying 4 u.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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