worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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