Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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