Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize