i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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