Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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