He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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