Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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