How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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