it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
