so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
one might say we're banned from that church
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
