Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
