I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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