so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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