Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
